Author: terry-jean-taylor


NOVEMBER’S BREAK FREE TIP shows you how to pull yourself up when you’re “down in the dumps” over the holidays. With the holiday season approaching, many of us can feel lonely and empty when we want most to feel happy and festive. What can we do about this?   Make An Exciting Plan For Yourself   Don’t depend on your family or friends to come up with something exciting for you to do – ask yourself what would be meaningful and fun for YOU. Search for a listing of holiday events in your surrounding area (or beyond if you’re willing to travel).   If you look around, you’ll find some amazingly entertaining events to choose from. If nothing looks interesting, use your imagination to “put together your own package.” Then invite a special person(s) to join you. Or you can go alone and meet new people.   Last year, my husband and I were looking for something new and exciting to do. Our tradition is to go dancing for New Years, but we couldn’t find a dance we wanted to attend. We had several invitations to parties but we didn’t want to stand around eating and talking. We wanted to do something different, and we wanted to be active.   Then we remembered that The Great Smokey Mountain Railroad had a New Year’s train, with a reception and tour of the...

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Break Free Tip of the Month

Have you ever had feelings like, “Sometimes I just want to kill that guy!” Or, “These last few days I’ve felt nothing but hatred for that woman!” Or, “I’m so jealous of her it makes me crazy!”   And then do you ever feel guilty for feeling that way?   Talk about a double-whammy! Not only are you hit with the initial emotion but you pile on the additional emotion of guilt. You feel bad about yourself for simply experiencing certain emotions.   Adding Insult To Injury   When you add the additional emotion of guilt to your original emotion, it takes you into a downward spiral of self-destructive emotions. Saying “I shouldn’t feel that way,” is saying that “I’m a bad person for feeling this way.” Then you start attacking yourself for being a bad person instead of exploring, managing and resolving your original emotion.   Good News!   Here’s what makes the news good:   EMOTIONS as such cannot harm anyone. In themselves, they are neither “good” nor “bad.” They are simply the automatic result of how you’ve assessed something in the world – a person, a situation, a place or a thing. You have no direct control over what you feel, and the only way you can change an emotion is by changing your original assessment (of that person, situation, place or thing). EMOTIONS don’t “make” you do...

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Don’t Put Off Doing What You Love – Come Alive Now!

This BREAK FREE TIP shows you how ACT NOW to do what you love so you can enjoy living instead of regretting that you “forgot to live.”   We are always told to “think of the future,” and I developed such a habit of planning for the future that for many years I forgot to enjoy the NOW. I have since discovered that planning for the future means planning for the best NOW’s you can have for your life.You may think you have plenty of time and that “someday” you will finally “get around” to doing the things you want and to actually enjoy living. But the only time you can actually experience the joy of living is NOW. And if you don’t take care of how you spend your lifetime of NOW’s, you may end up never doing what you really want to do in life.My brother is a good example. Not happy at college, he had the courage to change the course of his life mid-stream. He discovered that he would rather design and build his own boat and go exploring, so he built his first boat and paddled down the Mississippi River with our Dad. Then he built a magnificent sailboat and sailed the high seas both alone and with his girlfriend. And then, tragically, at age 29 he was gone. He died of a massive coronary (due...

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Break Free Tip From Terry Taylor Bird

Healthy relationships often depend upon the kinds of agreements we make with other people. This BREAK FREE TIP shows how you can make agreements that enhance your life and how to stay free from agreements that bring you stress, pain, and guilt. ARE YOU A PRISONER OF YOUR COMMITMENTS? Healthy agreements with trustworthy people can enhance your productivity and your enjoyment of life. And “keeping your word” is part of acting with honesty and integrity and being true to your best self as well as your friends. But do you sometimes feel trapped by past promises and commitments? Do you suffer from guilt because you’ve made agreements that you couldn’t keep?Whether you agree to a one-time appointment or to a long-term contract, as a conscientious person you want to honor the agreements you make with others, but sometimes a situation arises in which an agreement you made is no longer the wisest course. Let’s consider three examples:  Example One: Suppose you promise to go to the movies tonight with a dear friend. Then suppose another dear friend from out of town calls that she’s in town just for tonight and could she treat you to dinner and stay overnight?   Are you obligated to keep your movie date with your first dear friend? Must you say “no” to your out-of-town friend because you made a previous agreement? Or do you have the right to...

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Break Free Tip of the Month, HOW TO LIVE AN EXCITING LIFE

What kind of a LIFE are you living these days? Are you running yourself into the ground with one chore after the next? Are you doing a thousand things for others with no time for yourself? Is your personal time just “body maintenance” time (grooming, eating, sleeping, exercising) with no time for pleasure or enjoyment?What kinds of FEELINGS do you have about your days? Do you feel unfulfilled, frantic, frustrated, resigned, resentful or just plain “blah”? Have you numbed yourself to your deep-down longings for your life?AN EXCITING LIFE STARTS WITH YOU Take heart! You can change all that! The good news is that an exciting life starts with YOU. You have the power to create an exciting life for yourself. But it won’t happen if:   You don’t want an exciting life You don’t value yourself You let others run your life You want to play it safe   You can choose to “just get by” and to be merely the “supporting actress” for somebody else’s life. But if you WANT your life to be exciting:   You can CHOOSE to have an exciting life. You can choose not to settle for less. You can DECIDE to value yourself. You can decide to treat yourself with respect and treasure the one and only life you have. You can PUT YOURSELF IN CHARGE of your own life. You can honor the fact that YOU are the rightful...

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