COMMUNICATION: THE LIFE BLOOD OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Terry Jean Taylor

Good relationships are built upon mutual respect, values you hold in common, and one other big thing: COMMUNICATION.

Without communication you have no way to even discover your mutual respect or the values that you hold in common. And you have no way to discover ways you might magnify each other’s productivity and enjoyment by working together. That’s why I call communication the “life blood” of your relationships.

In both your business and personal relationships, communication keeps everyone “in the know” and “on the same page.”

If you don’t interact with other people, you don’t need to concern yourself about communicating your thoughts or plans to others – or others communicating their thoughts or plans with you.

But as soon as you enter into a relationship with another person, communication becomes vital:
If you want someone to repair your shoes you need to tell him what you want done and he needs to tell you the cost. If he runs into a bigger problem during the repair, he needs to inform you of the problem and any additional cost. Then you need to tell him whether to go ahead with the repair or to discontinue the work.
If you have a standing appointment with a friend to meet for lunch the first Monday of each month, you need to let your friend know if you are unable to keep one of those appointments.
In a romantic relationship, it is crucial to express not only your plans but also your support, enthusiasm, admiration, appreciation, and love for one another – not just once – but in all your interactions with each other!

Here’s what my sister, Christine Van Brunt (author of Toe Holds in the Light available at www.tatepublishing.com) wrote to me about how communication keeps her relationships alive and well:

COMMUNICATION IN THE WORKPLACE: “My whirlwind work place has taught me that people change plans, meetings, and commitments to those things all the time. That is an accepted part of the work terrain. Meetings are canceled, rescheduled; people accept the meeting and then decline the meeting, etc. But the crucial behavior in all of this is communicating your change in plans. When people can’t attend a meeting they let me know. I may reschedule the meeting based on this if they are a key resource.”

COMMUNICATION WITH FRIENDS: “My exercise partner and I all the time switch up our standing agreement to meet for zumba classes twice a week. We wind up communicating about it for each occasion, up to the very day, because the agreement is voluntary, mutually beneficial, and absolutely conditional to changing circumstances. So we just communicate, communicate, communicate.”

How can you honor your relationships better through good communication?

HERE’S HOW TO GET STARTED

1. Know What You Want: Start out by “communicating” with yourself! Be clear about what you want out of each of your business and personal relationships. Then communicate what you are looking for in the relationship and find out what the other person wants. That way you can see if you are a good business or personal “match.”

2. Honor Both Yourself and Your Partner: Engage only in relationships that are beneficial to both you and your partner. Healthy relationships are voluntary exchanges (material and/or spiritual) for the mutual benefit of both parties.

3. Be Realistic: Have an understanding from the outset that both of you will do your best to honor your particular plans but if something unexpected comes up for either one of you, you will cheerfully support each other if one of you needs to make a change in your original plan.

4. Be Equipped: Make sure you have a quick way to get in touch with each other at any time. Have each other’s home phone, cell phone, email address, and/or social media “address” (and if necessary a third party to call).

5. Be Prepared: Keep the phone numbers handy – they won’t do you any good if you don’t have them with you. Before leaving home, make sure your cell phone is charged and take a car charger and a wall charger with you – and use them! Also make sure your cell phone is turned on and that you can feel the vibration or hear the ringer.

6. Be Alert: Check your messages! Check your messages on your cell phone, home phone, email, social media. Communication cannot be effective unless it reaches the other end!

7. Be Respectful: Alert your partner to your change in plans immediately, or just as soon as you are able. This way you can have the flexibility you both need to adjust your schedule to the new circumstances and still honor each other’s “standing” schedule.

I hope this enhances your communication for more joyful relationships – so you can love living your life even more than you already do!

I’d love to hear how these steps work for you — feel free to email me at Terry@YourRecipeForLivingCoach.com, or post a comment on my Break Free Blog at www.YourRecipeForLivingCoach.com. Please know that you are welcome to share this BREAK FREE TIP by forwarding this message to a friend or colleague.

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