Break Free Tip of the Month – April

• go after something that you want, or
• to protect something that you value.

That “something” can be a person, a place, a thing, or an action.

“Wishing” For Something Is Not The Same As “Wanting” Or “Valuing” Something

Sometimes you just wish for something, but you don’t want to put the effort into actually attaining it. This goes onto your “wouldn’t it be nice if” list.

In contrast, wanting or valuing something means you are willing to put forth the effort to get it – it means you are willing to STRIVE for it.

You don’t have to worry about losing motivation over the things you merely wish for – you didn’t want them badly enough in the first place.

But for the things you truly want, staying motivated is important because it takes sustained effort over a period of time to acquire the things you want – and it takes a lifetime of sustained effort to protect the things you value.

Where Does Motivation Come From?

Good news! You do not have to wait for motivation to come flying into your soul. Your motivation depends entirely upon what you decide is important to you. Motivation comes from you valuing something – not the other way around. You do not have to be motivated to in order to value something – you have to value something in order to be motivated.

If you don’t value anything – if you don’t want something for your life – if you don’t care about yourself – you will not feel motivated to lift a finger. When you really want something for your life (like a beautiful relationship or a majestic work of art) you will feel moved to take the necessary actions to acquire it. Or when you really treasure something that is at risk (like your child or your freedom) you will feel moved to take the necessary action to protect it.

That is motivation!

But, once motivated, how do you STAY motivated?

HERE’S HOW TO GET STARTED

Whenever you feel de-motivated, here are some ways to remind yourself of why your life is worth your effort –

1. Get In Touch With Your Values. Your values are the things that are important to you for your life. Ask yourself:

• Do I Value Myself And My Life? You can DECIDE to value your life. That means you can decide to act to sustain your life.
• Do I Value What I Need To Do To Survive? You can DECIDE to work for the things you need to survive: water, food, clothing, shelter, good health.
• Do I Value What I Need To Thrive? You can DECIDE to work for the things that will enable you to live as a fulfilled, happy human being: exciting work; life-boosting relationships; delightful recreation; and inspiring art.

2. Think In Terms Of Small Steps. You will feel overwhelmed when you think of all the work it will take to get something you want. But you’ll feel energized when you break that work into small, do-able steps.

WHAT IF I LOSE MY MOTIVATION?

First of all, make sure you are getting enough water, food, exercise, and rest. If you are fatigued, your only motivation will be to go to sleep. If you’ve taken care of your basic needs, here are some steps to take to get re-motivated –

1. Sit or lie down and DON’T MOVE. Pretty soon you will get hungry – or think of something you want to do and you will feel “moved” to get up.

2. Think about something you truly want for your life. Imagine the benefit of having it. Pretty soon you will feel energized to take action to go after it.

3. Think about what is important to you. Ask yourself why it’s important. Then ask yourself if it’s important enough to actually do something about. If it is, you will want to get up and start doing! If it isn’t, go on to another thing that is important to you and repeat these same questions. Eventually you should land on something that is important enough to do something about.

4. Separate your wants from your wishes. A want will motivate you, but a wish will not.

5. Separate what YOU want for your life from what SOMEBODY ELSE wants for you. What you want will motivate you, but what somebody else wants for you will not. Be sure you are making your own choices instead of going by somebody else’s say-so.

6. Remind yourself that the only time you have to live your life is NOW. You have two choices: you can do nothing now, or you can do something now to improve or enjoy your life. You can decide that your life isn’t worth the effort (and turn your back on yourself and “play dead”) or you can decide that your life IS worth the effort (and go after the things you value and feel fully alive!)

If none of these things re-motivate you, think about what excited you in childhood – or start exploring all kinds of new activities, different types of work, new places and things – until you come across something that excites you. Climb out of the rut of past thinking, old habits and everyday routine – and start anew! Ask yourself what you want to experience before you die. Think about what kind of a person you want to be from here on out, and what kind of a life you want to live. Think about what you want for your life, and then figure out how to get from where you are now to where you want to be. Writing the rest of your own story can be a great adventure!

Above all, treat yourself with utmost respect and gentleness. Know that this is YOUR life to live YOUR way. There are no “shoulds.” All you have to do is decide to value your life and then  – bit by bit – start going after the things you want for your life. Once you KNOW that you are going after the things you truly want for your life, you will stay motivated!

I’d love to hear how these steps work for you — feel free to email me at Terry@YourRecipeForLivingCoach.com, or post a comment on my Break Free Blog at www.yourrecipeforlivingcoach.com. Please know that you are welcome to share this BREAK FREE TIP by forwarding this message to a friend or colleague.